Ten years ago, I stood in a crowded Houston airport, clutching a one-way ticket to Madrid. My heart raced with equal parts excitement and fear. Could I really leave behind everything I knew for a new life in Spain? As the daughter of immigrants, I’d always felt like I was straddling worlds, never fully at home. That single decision—to pack a suitcase and chase a vague dream of teaching English abroad—changed everything. Now, a decade later, I’ve built a life in Spain that feels like it was always meant to be mine. Through my journey and my platform for women over 30, I’ve learned what it takes to start over in a new country. And while I still love visiting the U.S., there are some things I’m thrilled to leave behind.
Embracing a New Way of Life
Relocating to Spain wasn’t just about trading one country for another—it was about swapping a high-stress, car-dependent lifestyle for one rooted in balance and connection. From the moment I landed, I noticed differences that made me question why I’d spent so long grinding away in the U.S. Here’s what I don’t miss, and why I think these shifts matter for anyone craving a different pace of life.
1. The Scarcity of Vacation Time
Back in Texas, my 10 days of paid time off felt like a rare treasure. I’d ration them carefully, always worried about “wasting” a day or disappointing my team by taking time off. Vacations often meant sneaking in work emails from a hotel room, which defeated the whole point. In Spain, I was shocked to learn that employees get 22 paid vacation days plus 14 national holidays—and people actually use them.
August in Spain is practically a national shutdown. Offices empty out, families flock to the coast, and no one bats an eye. It’s not just about time off; it’s about a culture that prioritizes rest and recharging. I used to job-hop in my 20s just to carve out a few weeks to travel. Now, I can explore Europe without quitting my job. That freedom? It’s life-changing.
“In Spain, taking time off isn’t a luxury—it’s a right. It’s about living, not just working.”
– Expat lifestyle coach
2. Being Tied to a Car
In Texas, my car was my lifeline. Groceries, work, the gym—everything required a drive. Traffic jams, parking hassles, and gas prices were just part of the deal. I didn’t realize how much it weighed me down until I moved to Madrid, where I could walk to almost everything.
Now in Málaga, my life unfolds within a 20-minute stroll. Markets, cafes, my coworking space—they’re all close by. When I need to go farther, the bus or metro is cheap and reliable. High-speed trains make weekend trips across Spain a breeze, even on a budget. Walking has become my therapy—fresh air, familiar faces at the bakery, even the street cats feel like neighbors. My step count’s through the roof, and I’m not stuck in traffic anymore.
- Walkable cities reduce stress and boost daily activity.
- Public transport in Spain is affordable and efficient.
- High-speed trains make travel accessible without a car.
3. A Healthcare System That Feels Like a Gamble
Navigating healthcare in the U.S. was like playing a high-stakes game with no rulebook. Every doctor’s visit came with a nagging fear of surprise bills. Finding a primary care provider meant endless phone calls, and I was always second-guessing what my insurance would cover. It was exhausting.
In Spain, healthcare is a breath of fresh air. I pay about $76 a month for private coverage as a healthy 45-year-old. Booking appointments is as easy as using an app, and wait times are short. The system is straightforward, affordable, and—dare I say it—humane. I can focus on staying healthy instead of stressing over costs.
| Aspect | U.S. Experience | Spain Experience |
| Cost | High, unpredictable | $76/month (private) |
| Access | Complex, long waits | App-based, quick |
| Stress | High due to uncertainty | Minimal, straightforward |
4. Constant Vigilance in Public Spaces
As a woman in the U.S., I was always on guard. Walking through a parking lot at night or navigating a crowded event came with a low hum of anxiety. Would I be harassed? Was there a risk of something worse? The fear of gun violence lingered in the back of my mind, especially in public places.
Spain feels different. Cities like Madrid and Málaga buzz with life late into the evening—families out for dinner, kids playing in plazas. The streets are well-lit and dense with people, which adds a layer of comfort. Spain’s strict gun laws help, too. According to global safety rankings, Spain is among the top 25 most peaceful countries, while the U.S. lags far behind. I can walk home at night without clutching my keys like a weapon.
“Feeling safe in public spaces shouldn’t be a luxury—it’s a game-changer for quality of life.”
– Urban safety researcher
5. The Tipping Trap
Every trip back to the U.S. reminds me how tipping has spiraled out of control. Grabbing a coffee or even using a self-checkout comes with a screen prompting for a 20% tip. It’s awkward and feels like guilt-tripping customers into subsidizing low wages.
In Spain, service workers earn fairer wages, so tipping isn’t a cultural expectation. If I’m impressed at a restaurant, I might round up the bill or leave a few coins, but it’s a choice, not a demand. I love that my morning croissant doesn’t come with a side of moral pressure.
6. Polarized Patriotism
Living abroad has given me perspective on the U.S.’s intense political divide. It’s hard to escape the “us vs. them” mentality or the loud claims of being the “greatest country in the world”—often from folks who haven’t traveled much. Spain has its own political complexities, with regional identities and languages, but the vibe feels less combative.
Here, I’ve noticed a quieter pride in culture that doesn’t need to shout about being the best. It’s refreshing to live somewhere that values its way of life without dismissing others. Perhaps the most interesting aspect is how this shift has helped me see my own country more clearly—its strengths and its flaws.
7. The Rush to Hit Life’s Milestones
In the U.S., I felt like I was racing against a clock. By 35, society expected me to be married, with kids and a mortgage. Being single and childfree made me feel like I was falling behind. It was a subtle but constant pressure that chipped away at my confidence.
Spain moves at a different pace. The average age for marriage here is 38.8, compared to 30.8 in the U.S. It’s normal to be single in your 30s or 40s, and social scenes are filled with people of all ages enjoying life. Moving here lifted that weight off my shoulders. I’ve built a life that feels authentic, not dictated by a traditional timeline.
- Letting go of societal expectations opened up new possibilities.
- Spain’s culture celebrates diverse life paths without judgment.
- Building a life abroad gave me freedom to define success on my terms.
Reflecting on these changes, I realize how much I’ve grown since that nerve-wracking flight to Madrid. Spain hasn’t just given me a new home; it’s reshaped how I view work, relationships, and my own path. Sure, I still miss parts of the U.S.—family, friends, and the occasional shopping spree—but the things I don’t miss outweigh the nostalgia. Have you ever dreamed of starting over somewhere new? For me, it was the best decision I ever made.
Through my platform, I help women over 30 navigate their own moves abroad. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it. The logistics—visas, jobs, settling in—are learnable. The real magic happens when you embrace the mindset shift: life doesn’t have to be a grind. It can be a vibrant, walkable, rest-filled adventure. What’s stopping you from taking that leap?
