Have you ever wondered why some people feel justified in harming others over political differences? It’s a question that hits hard when you read about tragedies like the murder of a young woman or an attempt on a public figure’s life. These aren’t just random acts—they’re rooted in a way of thinking that’s creeping into our schools, our conversations, and even our relationships. I’ve always believed that the way we teach our kids shapes the world they’ll build, and right now, we’re sowing some dangerous seeds.
The Hidden Roots of Division
Violence doesn’t just happen. It’s nurtured by ideas that divide us into camps of “us” versus “them.” When a young woman is killed with a casual remark like “I got that white girl,” or when someone targets a political figure like Charlie Kirk, it’s not just about the weapon. It’s about a mindset that says some people are enemies, not neighbors. This mindset isn’t born in a vacuum—it’s taught, reinforced, and sometimes even celebrated.
In my experience, relationships—whether romantic, familial, or communal—thrive on mutual respect and understanding. But what happens when we’re taught to see others as oppressors or threats? That’s where the trouble starts. A framework that paints the world as a battleground between good and evil groups can turn even the kindest hearts cold.
How Division Creeps into Our Lives
Let’s talk about where this all begins: education. Schools are where young minds are shaped, where they learn not just facts but values. Historically, education aimed to cultivate virtue—a love for truth, fairness, and community. Think of the old classics, like Shakespeare’s tales of honor or the civic pride instilled in students centuries ago. But somewhere along the way, we veered off course.
Today, some classrooms introduce ideas that simplify the world into oppressors and oppressed. It’s a seductive narrative because it’s easy to grasp. It makes students feel like they’re in on a secret truth about society. But here’s the catch: it also makes them see their classmates, neighbors, or even parents as part of the problem. That’s not education—it’s indoctrination.
When you teach kids to see others as enemies, you’re planting the seeds for conflict—not just in politics, but in every relationship they’ll ever have.
– Education reformer
This approach doesn’t just affect politics. It seeps into couple life, where partners might start viewing disagreements through a lens of power struggles rather than mutual growth. I’ve seen friends argue over politics in ways that mirror this divisive thinking, turning small differences into unbridgeable gaps. It’s heartbreaking, and it’s avoidable.
The Dangerous Appeal of Us vs. Them
Why is this way of thinking so appealing? For one, it’s simple. Dividing the world into good guys and bad guys feels empowering, especially for young people searching for purpose. It’s like being handed a script where you’re the hero, and anyone who disagrees is the villain. But life isn’t a comic book.
In relationships, this mindset can be toxic. Imagine a couple where one partner starts seeing the other as “part of the system” because of their background or beliefs. Suddenly, a disagreement about finances or family becomes a moral crusade. That’s not love—it’s warfare. And it’s the same logic that justifies violence in the streets.
- Polarizing narratives simplify complex issues but erode trust.
- They make compromise feel like betrayal.
- In relationships, they turn partners into adversaries.
I’ve always thought the best relationships are built on seeing each other as teammates, not opponents. But when schools teach kids to view the world through a lens of conflict, it’s no wonder that mindset spills over into their personal lives.
The Role of Education in Healing Division
So, how do we fix this? It starts with rethinking how we educate. Instead of teaching kids to divide the world into oppressors and oppressed, we need to focus on shared humanity. That means emphasizing values like empathy, critical thinking, and respect for differing views. It’s not about ignoring injustice—far from it. It’s about teaching young people to fight for what’s right without dehumanizing others.
In couple life, this translates to teaching partners to approach conflicts with curiosity, not judgment. Why does your partner feel so strongly about this issue? What’s behind their perspective? These questions build bridges, not walls.
| Educational Approach | Core Focus | Impact on Relationships |
| Divisive Ideology | Oppressor vs. Oppressed | Breeds mistrust and conflict |
| Virtue-Based Learning | Empathy and Truth | Fosters unity and understanding |
Perhaps the most interesting aspect is how small changes in education can ripple out. A classroom that teaches kids to value dialogue over division produces adults who can disagree without resorting to hatred—or worse, violence.
Breaking the Cycle in Relationships
Let’s bring this back to couple life. Relationships are a microcosm of society. If you’re taught to see the world as a battlefield, you’ll bring that mindset into your home. But if you’re raised to value connection over conquest, your relationships will reflect that.
Here’s a practical example. Imagine a couple debating a hot-button political issue. If they’ve internalized a divisive worldview, that debate could escalate into personal attacks. But if they’ve learned to approach differences with humility, they might actually learn something from each other. That’s the kind of relationship we should be fostering.
Love isn’t about winning—it’s about understanding.
– Marriage therapist
I’ve found that the best couples are the ones who see disagreements as opportunities to grow closer, not further apart. That mindset doesn’t come naturally—it’s cultivated, often starting in childhood.
A Call to Action for Society
Ending political violence isn’t just about changing laws or tightening security. It’s about changing hearts and minds. We need to root out the ideologies that justify harming others and replace them with values that uplift everyone. This starts in our schools, but it doesn’t end there.
In our relationships, we can model the change we want to see. By choosing dialogue over division, we show the next generation what’s possible. It’s not easy, especially when emotions run high, but it’s worth it.
- Push for education that emphasizes empathy and critical thinking.
- Model respectful dialogue in your relationships.
- Challenge divisive narratives when you encounter them.
Maybe I’m an optimist, but I believe we can build a world where disagreements don’t end in violence. It starts with how we teach our kids, how we treat our partners, and how we engage with our communities. Let’s make that our legacy.
The stakes are high. Every time we let divisive ideas take root, we risk more than just political violence—we risk tearing apart the relationships that hold us together. But by choosing a different path, we can create a future where love, not hate, defines us.
