Imagine setting your alarm for 2 a.m. on a Monday, kissing your sleeping wife goodbye, and driving through the dark for two and a half hours just so you can catch a plane to go… to work.
Most people would call that insane. Andrew Rendon did it every single week for nearly a year.
And then, one day, he walked away from it all – accepting a $40,000 pay cut just to stop.
The Hidden Price of the “Dream” Move
A lot of us fantasize about escaping high-cost states. New Jersey house prices had become ridiculous – the same home that costs $350,000 in central North Carolina was pushing $800,000 up north. So when Andrew’s wife landed a solid job in the Tar Heel State and his in-laws moved south too, the decision felt obvious.
They bought a beautiful house with land. They breathed easier. Life was supposed to get better.
Except Andrew still worked in New Jersey.
His company had started enforcing return-to-office rules right after he was hired. Everyone hired during 2021 kept their full-remote privilege. He didn’t. One day a week in the office suddenly became non-negotiable.
A Typical Supercommute Week Looked Like This
- Monday 2:00 a.m. – Wake up, try not to wake wife
- 3:00 a.m. – Leave house, drive 2.5 hours to Raleigh-Durham airport (cheaper flights)
- 6:00 a.m. flight to Newark
- Arrive 8:30–9:00 a.m., train to office
- Work Monday + Tuesday in office
- Sleep in hotel Tuesday night
- Wednesday evening flight home, land around 10 p.m.
- Collapse into bed, do it again next week
He actually liked parts of it at first. “I’m weird – I love driving and I still think flying is kind of magical,” he admits with a tired laugh in interviews. But love only gets you so far when your body is running on fumes.
The Real Costs Nobody Talks About
Let’s break down what this lifestyle actually cost – beyond the obvious plane tickets.
| Expense | Monthly Cost (early) | Monthly Cost (later) |
| Gas + tolls | $350 | $450 |
| Flights | $500 | $800 |
| Hotel (2 nights/week) | $300 | $500 |
| Airport parking + meals | $150 | $250 |
| Total | ~$1,300 | ~$2,000 |
That’s $24,000 a year after tax – roughly the price of a new car – just to keep a job.
But the hidden costs were worse.
“I got sick constantly. Colds, flu, sinus infections – my immune system was shot from the lack of sleep and all the recycled airplane air.”
He missed birthdays, date nights, lazy Sunday mornings with his wife – the exact reasons they moved south in the first place.
When Supercommuting Starts Breaking Your Marriage
Here’s the part most supercommuting stories gloss over: the toll on your relationship.
Andrew’s wife was essentially a part-time single woman three days a week. She handled everything at home alone while he was hundreds of miles away. The weekends became recovery periods instead of quality time.
“I’d come home Wednesday night completely drained,” he says. “I wasn’t the husband I wanted to be. I wasn’t even the person I recognized.”
In my experience writing about modern relationships, this is incredibly common. One partner makes a huge professional sacrifice “for the family,” but the family ends up seeing less of them than ever. The irony is brutal.
The Job Market Felt Even More Soul-Crushing
Andrew started looking for something closer after about six months. He has ten years of DevOps experience – on paper, that should be golden.
Reality in 2024-2025? Hundreds of applicants per role. Ghosting. Take-home assignments that took 15 hours. Companies asking for senior skills at mid-level pay.
“I honestly started thinking the supercommute was easier than job hunting. At least I had income and didn’t have to do six-round interviews.”
He wasn’t alone. Thousands of experienced tech workers have been telling the same story: the market is the worst it’s been in a decade.
The Day He Finally Broke
One Wednesday night flight was delayed four hours. He landed at 2 a.m., drove home, and walked in the door at 5 a.m. – exactly the time he used to leave for the airport on Monday.
He looked at his sleeping wife, thought about doing it all again in four days, and something snapped.
“I was dying to find something closer. I didn’t care about the money anymore.”
Two weeks later, a recruiter reached out about a fully in-office role in Raleigh. The salary was $40,000 less. He took it on the spot.
Life After the $40,000 Pay Cut
His new commute? Fifteen minutes.
He eats dinner with his wife every night. He coaches a local sports team on weekends. He sleeps.
“I get to come home to my wife every single day. I’ll miss the miles and the flying a little… but I can live my life again.”
When you crunch the numbers, the pay cut barely hurts. After you subtract the $24,000 in commuting costs and the tax difference, he’s actually ahead financially. But even if he weren’t, he says he’d still do it.
What We Can All Learn From This
Extreme commuting has become weirdly normalized in the post-pandemic world. Companies act like flying across the country once a week is reasonable. Some people wear it like a badge of honor – “I’m so dedicated!”
But dedication shouldn’t require self-destruction.
- Run the real numbers – commuting costs usually eat far more than you expect
- If your partner isn’t 100% on board, it will damage your relationship
- No job is worth chronic illness from sleep deprivation
- Sometimes “taking a step back” financially is actually the biggest step forward
I’ve found that the couples who thrive long-term are the ones who choose each other over prestige, over money, over everything else. Andrew and his wife moved for a better life together. The supercommute turned that dream into a nightmare.
Dropping the ego and the salary to protect their marriage? That’s not defeat.
That’s winning.
And honestly? In a world that glorifies hustle until burnout, stories like this feel like a breath of fresh air.
