What Makes Someone Cool? 6 Traits That Win Hearts

Have you ever met someone who just *owns* a room? You know, that person who walks in, and suddenly everyone’s paying attention—not because they’re loud, but because they’ve got this effortless vibe that screams *cool*. I’ve always been fascinated by what makes certain people magnetic, so when I stumbled across a global study asking thousands of people what defines “cool,” I was hooked. Turns out, no matter where you are—New York, Tokyo, or São Paulo—people agree on a handful of traits that make someone stand out in the best way possible.

The Universal Recipe for Coolness

A recent study dove into the minds of nearly 6,000 people across 12 countries, from teenagers to retirees, to pin down what makes someone *cool*. The results? Six personality traits consistently rose to the top, no matter the culture or location. These aren’t just random quirks—they’re qualities that shape how we connect, inspire, and leave a lasting impression. Let’s break them down and explore how you can tap into these traits to boost your own social charisma.

1. Marching to Your Own Beat: Autonomy

Cool people don’t just follow the crowd—they carve their own path. Autonomy is about doing things your way, even when it means breaking a few rules. But here’s the catch: it’s not about being reckless. Cool autonomy is purposeful, like an entrepreneur who ditches the 9-to-5 to build something groundbreaking or an artist who creates a style no one’s seen before.

Think of someone who’s built a career by defying expectations—maybe a chef who blends cuisines in a way that shouldn’t work but does. In my experience, the coolest people I’ve met are the ones who aren’t afraid to say, “This is who I am,” and back it up with action. Want to channel this? Start small: make one choice today that feels authentically *you*, even if it raises a few eyebrows.

“The coolest people are the ones who live by their own rules, but in a way that inspires others.”

– Social psychology researcher

2. Embracing the Unknown: Openness

Coolness thrives on curiosity. People who are open to new ideas and experiences don’t just go with the flow—they seek out the unconventional. Whether it’s trying a bold new fashion trend or diving into a niche hobby, their willingness to explore sets them apart.

I’ve always admired folks who ask “what if?” instead of sticking to “what is.” For example, a friend of mine once decided to learn capoeira, a Brazilian martial art, just because it looked intriguing. That openness didn’t just make her cooler—it sparked conversations and connections everywhere she went. To cultivate this trait, try saying yes to one new experience this week, even if it feels a little out of your comfort zone.

3. Chasing Thrills: Adventurousness

Cool people are often the ones who chase adventure over comfort. They’re the ones backpacking through remote mountains or signing up for a spontaneous road trip. Adventurousness isn’t just about physical risks—it’s about embracing the unknown in any form, whether that’s starting a bold new project or moving to a new city.

Adventurous types remind me of a colleague who left a stable job to travel the world as a food blogger. The uncertainty was daunting, but her stories of tasting street food in Bangkok or learning recipes in Morocco? Pure magic. If you’re itching to be a bit cooler, try something that scares you just a little—it’s where the good stuff happens.

• Take a weekend trip to a place you’ve never been.
• Sign up for a class in something totally unfamiliar, like pottery or salsa dancing.
• Say yes to an invitation you’d usually decline.

4. Living for the Moment: Hedonism

Let’s be real—cool people know how to have fun. Hedonism, in the context of coolness, is about chasing joy and living in the moment. It’s not about being irresponsible; it’s about savoring life’s pleasures, whether that’s dancing all night or indulging in a decadent dessert.

I once knew a guy who threw legendary dinner parties, not because he had a big budget, but because he poured so much enthusiasm into every detail—great music, bold flavors, and infectious energy. That’s hedonism done right. To tap into this, focus on one thing that brings you pure joy this week and lean into it without overthinking the consequences.

“Coolness comes from embracing life’s pleasures with confidence and flair.”

– Cultural trend analyst

5. Lighting Up the Room: Extraversion

You can’t be cool in a vacuum—extraversion is key. Cool people share their energy with the world, whether through storytelling, humor, or just being present. They’re not always the loudest in the room, but they’re the ones you *notice*.

I’ve always been a bit shy, but I’ve noticed that the coolest people I meet make everyone feel included. Think of that friend who can strike up a conversation with anyone, from a barista to a CEO. If you’re not naturally outgoing, start small: smile at a stranger or share a quick story with a coworker. It’s amazing how far a little warmth can go.

6. Commanding Attention: Power

Cool people have a certain presence. They don’t demand attention—they just have it. This power comes from confidence, not arrogance, and it’s what makes others want to follow their lead.

Take someone like a community leader who inspires change with quiet conviction or a performer who captivates an audience without trying too hard. Personally, I think this trait is the toughest to nail because it’s not just about being loud—it’s about being impactful. Practice standing tall, speaking clearly, and owning your ideas, and you’ll start to feel that magnetic pull.

Why Coolness Matters in Relationships

Here’s where it gets interesting: these traits don’t just make you cool—they make you a better partner, friend, or colleague. Autonomy and openness help you bring fresh perspectives to a relationship, while extraversion and power make you a natural connector. Adventurousness and hedonism? They keep things exciting.

In my view, the coolest couples are the ones who inspire each other to grow while still having fun together. Imagine a partner who encourages you to take that risky career leap or join them on a last-minute adventure. That’s the kind of dynamic that keeps relationships alive.

Can You *Become* Cooler?

Here’s the good news: coolness isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you can cultivate. Sure, some people have a natural knack for it, but anyone can work on these traits. The trick is to start small and be consistent.

1. Reflect on your values: What makes you unique? Lean into that.
2. Take small risks: Try something new, even if it’s just a different coffee order.
3. Connect with others: Share a story or compliment someone—it builds warmth.
4. Own your presence: Stand tall, speak clearly, and believe in your ideas.

Perhaps the most exciting part is that chasing coolness doesn’t just make you more magnetic—it makes life more fun. Every time you step outside your comfort zone or share a piece of yourself with the world, you’re not just being cool—you’re growing.

The Downside of Coolness

Let’s keep it real—being cool isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Hedonism can lead to impulsive choices, and autonomy might make you feel isolated if you push too far from the crowd. The key is balance. Cool people know how to be independent without burning bridges and how to have fun without losing sight of what matters.

I’ve seen friends chase coolness so hard they forgot to nurture their relationships. It’s a reminder that being cool is awesome, but being kind and connected is just as important.

“Coolness is magnetic, but it’s kindness that keeps people close.”

– Behavioral expert

Putting It All Together

So, what’s the secret sauce to being cool? It’s a mix of confidence, curiosity, and a knack for connecting with others. Whether you’re aiming to spice up your social life, stand out at work, or just feel better about yourself, these six traits—autonomy, openness, adventurousness, hedonism, extraversion, and power—are your roadmap.

Start small, take risks, and don’t be afraid to let your personality shine. Who knows? You might just become the coolest person in the room.

Coolness Formula:
  30% Confidence
  30% Curiosity
  20% Connection
  20% Risk-Taking